You miss 100-percent of the shots you don’t take. That’s the approach former Cleveland Browns quarterback Brady Quinn suggests the team should take. Quinn believes if the organization fires current head coach Kevin Stefanski, they should make a run at Mike Tomlin.

I’ll pause while you laugh and compose yourselves.

“As you talk about the model of consistency,” Quinn said on a Monday episode of Fox Sports’ 2 Pros & A Cup of Joe. “You talk about Tomlin, the culture. I kept thinking about Cleveland right now. Who dropped another game that wasn’t even competitive against New Orleans. I don’t know what that means for Kevin Stefanski. It seems rather odd he could get fired after being Coach of the Year last year in the NFL.

“If they did though and that became vacant, I would call. I would call the Steelers, dude…if I’m [owner] Jimmy Haslam, I’m going to offer whatever it takes to get Mike Tomlin. And at least make them say no. Make them an offer they can’t refuse. And make them say no. That would be the approach I would take.”

Off the top, Quinn admitted it was a “wild ass” idea but pointed out to Cleveland’s all-in decision to acquire QB Deshaun Watson. If ownership was willing to be as aggressive as they were, offering a fully guaranteed $230 million contract and three first round picks, then the Browns should be bold enough to pursue Tomlin.

Without needing to actually explain it, though we begrudgingly will, this is an insane take. There may be an infinite number of universes out there but there isn’t a world in which the Pittsburgh Steelers trade Mike Tomlin to the Cleveland Browns. No trade package exists that could make such a deal worth considering. If Cleveland makes that call, build a time machine and stop Alexander Graham Bell from inventing the telephone. It wasn’t worth it.

Quinn’s take would’ve been ever-so-slightly less laughable a year ago when the Steelers were mired in a three-game losing streak with fading playoff hopes. For the first time, the national media entertained if 2023 would be Tomlin’s last year in Pittsburgh. Those questions were quickly squashed by the Steelers winning their final three regular season games to make the postseason.

In June, Tomlin signed an extension keeping him in Pittsburgh through the 2027 season. He’s turned the Steelers into AFC contenders this season, 8-2 and atop the division through the first 11 weeks. Tomlin made the gutsy decision to start QB Russell Wilson despite the team’s success under Justin Fields, a move that’s earned praise for being the right call. Including from Quinn, who thinks that culture is exactly what Cleveland needs.

“It’s never gonna happen,” Quinn admitted. “But I personally feel like if I were apart of that organization…I would definitely give Mike Tomlin a call. And I would try to figure out if there’s any shot of trying to get his culture, his coaching, everything that he’s bringing. And try to bring that to Cleveland. That would be one of the first calls.”

It would be the shortest phone call in history, perhaps only extended as a bewildered Art Rooney II checked the area code to make sure it wasn’t a prank. Though Cleveland has a Pittsburgh connection in Jimmy Haslam, once minority owner of the Steelers before buying the Browns in 2012, it would be embarrassing for him to even ask. Let alone Pittsburgh to entertain.

This isn’t the first time a former quarterback suggested Tomlin should or could go elsewhere. In 2021, Carson Palmer floated Tomlin’s name as someone USC was considering for their vacant job. It led to a brief media story and all-time Tomlin response when asked to address the rumors.

“Hey guys, I don’t have time for that speculation,” a clearly agitated Mike Tomlin said in October of 2021. “That’s a joke to me. I have one of the best jobs in all of professional sport. Why would I have any interest in coaching college football? That’ll be the last time I address it. Not only today but moving forward. Never say never but ‘never’.

“Anybody else have any questions about any college jobs? There’s not a booster with a big enough blank check. Anybody asking Sean Payton about that? Anybody asking Andy Reid about stuff like that?”

To this day, those two lines, “never say never but ‘never’” and “not a booster with a big enough blank check,” still get repeated as A-plus radio soundbites.

Despite Quinn admitting its impossibility, he thinks it’s worth the ask.

“It sounds crazy,” Quinn said. “And I’m sure people from Pittsburgh will criticize me and people from Cleveland will think it’s dumb. But if that job came open and I was part of the group trying to do it, I’m trying to get the best possible out there. And that’s who I’d be trying to get.”

Don’t worry, Brady Quinn. It doesn’t sound crazy. It is crazy. And everyone, Cleveland or otherwise, thinks it’s dumb.

Stefanski brought the Browns to brief success, even knocking the Steelers out of the playoffs in the 2020 Wild Card game (a game Stefanski watched from home after testing for COVID). But Cleveland has been sunk since acquiring Watson, now out for the season with a murky Browns’ future.

Quinn shares in the Browns’ misery since returning in 1999. Their first round pick in 2007, he started 12 games for Cleveland. His play was miserable, throwing 10 touchdowns and nine interceptions while posting a 3-9 record. One of those wins came against Pittsburgh. In his only start against the Steelers, the Browns won in spite of him. On a frigid 2009 night, Quinn went 6-of-19 for 90 yards, no touchdowns, but Cleveland ran for 171 yards and sacked QB Ben Roethlisberger eight times in a 13-6 win.

In some measure of fairness and grace, Quinn clearly respects and admires Mike Tomlin. With good reason. And his stance, most charitably, is it’s worth doing whatever it takes to bring in top talent. Nothing should be off the table.

“It would be interesting. It would come down to is that what he wants to do? Does he want to inherit everything that’s been going on there in Cleveland? I would guess probably not….It’s worth at least trying to make it happen to hear them say no.”

To answer those two questions. No and Hell no. Tomlin doesn’t want to coach the Browns. He would be leaving the most secure job in professional sports to one of the most turbulent. A franchise that has had nine head coaches since Tomlin was hired by Pittsburgh in 2007.

The closest Mike Tomlin will get to Cleveland is when he travels with his Steelers’ team for this Thursday night’s game off Lake Erie. Once the game ends, he’s not going back.

Stefanski has shown staying power and even with their season down the drain, is likely to return in 2025. But if he’s fired come Black Monday, even the Browns aren’t dumb enough to call the Steelers and ask Tomlin if he’s interested. They can call Bill Belichick, they can ring Ben Johnson, they can put two kids in a trench coat and have them run the show – the results really can’t be much worse – but Tomlin isn’t leaving.