BREAKING: Brian Schottenheimer Named New Head Coach of the Dallas Cowboys in a Blockbuster Move!

This is not a drill.

And no, Cowboys fans, you can’t have one to conduct a self-lobotomy, either.

The Dallas Cowboys and owner Jerry Jones have decided on their next head coach, and it’s their former offensive coordinator, Brian Schottenheimer being elevated to the big chair in the organization.

Schottenheimer was brought back for a second interview on Wednesday, and the deal was sealed.

Now the 10th head coach in franchise history, the organization hopes Schottenheimer is more aligned with legends Tom Landry and Jimmy Johnson, and less like other coaches in franchise history who haven’t been able to ascend to immortality.

51, and son of former Browns, Chiefs and Chargers head coach Marty Schottenheimer, Brian Schottenheimer has spent the last three seasons as an assistant under Mike McCarthy.

He was brought on in 2022 as an offensive analyst, then moved into the role of coordinator when the team parted ways with Kellen Moore in 2023.

Moore was inherited by McCarthy after being on coach Jason Garrett’s staff, but was allowed to leave the organization when McCarthy decided he wanted to return to being the offensive playcaller.

Moore had a virtual interview for the opening last week, and ended up being the most noteworthy candidate who was brought in.

The team also interviewed former head coaches such as Robert Saleh and Leslie Frazier, and spoke to Colorado Buffaloes head coach Deion Sanders, though no formal interview took place.

Schottenheimer has coached in the NFL since 1997, when he was an assistant coach with the St. Louis Rams. He first worked under his dad the following year with the Chiefs before moving to the college ranks as position coach for Syracuse and then USC.

He returned to the NFL in 2001 with Washington, again under his father, who he followed to San Diego from 2002 through 2005. He parlayed that to his first offensive coordinator position with the New York Jets in 2006, where he served under Eric Mangini (2006-2008) and Rex Ryan (2009-2011).

During that tenure, Schottenheimer’s offenses ranked in the top-10 in points once (ninth in 2008) and top 20 in yards just three times (2008 – 16th, 2009 – 20th, 2010 – 11th).

Ryan, who currently works for ESPN, may be a candidate to be Schottenheimer’s defensive coordinator.

Scottenheimer was also the offensive coordinator in Seattle under Pete Carroll from 2018 through 2020, where he found better success. The Seahawks were in the bottom half of the top-10 in scoring in each of those three seasons.

After one year as the Jacksonville Jaguars’ passing game coordinator under Urban Meyer, he joined the Cowboys’ organization, helping McCarthy design the offense for Dak Prescott and company, but not resuming the play-calling duties he had in New York and Seattle.

He will now be tasked with putting together a staff with the edict to get Dallas back into the playoff picture in a now supremely competitive NFC East.

Many fans fear that Schottenheimer, who wasn’t a part of the head coaching search of six other franchises with vacancies, was hired by the Jones family because he was amenable to their demands about former players being placed on his staff, which was rumored to be a major reason McCarthy left Dallas.

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